Saturday, March 5, 2011

Metal Rabbit

Apparently, today is the Chinese New Year...or is it the Tibetan Chinese New Year.  Whatever, I can't keep them straight.  Welcome to the year of the "Metal Rabbit!"

I'm usually back and forth on how much stock I place in any sort of astrology, but I find them intriguing whenever I see an article about them somewhere.  Anyways, I read the description of what the year of the Metal Rabbit is supposed to bring and it hit very close to home for me right now:

"The year of the Metal Rabbit promises to bring some much needed peace and tranquility. If you are like most people, you probably feel like you were on a roller coaster in 2010, the year of the Tiger. That will generally not be the case in 2011, as the Rabbit is everything the Tiger is not....
This is especially true if you belong to the Rabbit’s group, that is, your sign is Rabbit, Sheep or Pig [I'm a pig, btw]. These, however, are the people most likely to have a great year. If you are one of them, make an extra effort to follow your dreams, seize opportunities, and enjoy the moment....
This year the cautious, slow but sure approach is likely to win the day more than a charge ahead one.  The question, then, is what to do in a so-called, peaceful year? Education, for one. Leisurely travel could also provide a nice experience. That means the museum circuit as opposed to trekking the Himalayas. And, pursuing your hobbies, be they ballroom dancing, bridge or gardening is a very Rabbit thing to do and will bring you many happy moments...."

It made me think about my mood lately and especially about what I wrote yesterday.  Lately, I haven't felt like moving.  Which is extremely odd for me.  I'm usually very active and kind of restless.  Whenever I have to just sit for hours at a time, I'm usually escaping by daydreaming about something else: running, traveling, my family...anything to take my mind off of where I am or how bored I am.  When I ended up sitting in the office for hours at a time back in my old job, I would get up several times throughout the day just simply to stretch.  But lately, meaning the last couple of weeks--basically since quitting my old job--I haven't felt like really exerting myself.  Before I quit, I daydreamed about all the things I would do during my week off before starting the new job: 2 or 3 yoga classes a day, rock climbing, venturing out to different studios in the city...I reality, I didn't do more than 1 class a day (if that) and sat at home all. day. long.  I felt very lazy, but I kind of didn't care.  I did go rock climbing, though I almost canceled it because I just felt so un-energetic (I went and ended up climbing for 3 hours and had a blast by the way).

I thought that would change once the new job started, but it was more of the same: I don't really feel like moving.  I started worrying a couple of days ago, wondering if I was falling back into a depression--because that's usually my first indicator, I start losing interest in things and basically have no motivation.  But I don't think so, because this feeling isn't accompanied with the other tale-tell sign of my depressions: food.  When I get depressed (or scared, worried, mad...basically any kind of not pleasant emotion) I eat: a lot.  Which is what is comforting right now, because I actually have more of a lack of appetite.  For me, that's a good thing.  When things are going well in my life, I don't need a lot of food to sustain me.  When I spent entire days at track meets, I hardly ate a thing, even though I was running and burning energy.  Out on day-long hikes?  I eat a good meal before going out and then maybe a granola bar or two.  Again, for me, not craving food or constantly thinking about what I want to eat is a really good sign.

So, could it be that this "feeling" that I have, of not wanting to move or exert energy simply be that I am in tune with what is going on at a larger scale?  "The year of the Metal Rabbit promises to bring some much needed peace and tranquility. If you are like most people, you probably feel like you were on a roller coaster in 2010..."   A roller coaster?  Try a war.  That's kind of what 2010 (and 2009) felt like; like one long and endless fight.  And now, a big part of that fight is over.  New job, good roommates, old injury healing well, about to proceed further into something I enjoy (teacher training....which actually falls right in line with the astrology suggestion to engage in education for 2011).  Maybe not wanting to move right now is actually a good thing...

It's kind of funny.  It kind of feels like after your life has been so intense and unhappy, and so unstable and unsure for so long, any sort of peace or stability feels foreign and suspicious.  But maybe it's not.  Maybe I'm just finally on track with what I'm "supposed to be doing."

We'll see what happens next ;-)

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